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| this will be a grossly dwarfed summary of everything i've learned during the 3 (on my 4th) years in my university.
racism is definitely bad. but racism still believes in the essential existence of races and has standards by which it distinguishes the so-called "races".
reality, in a sense, can never be true because we humans are social animals. we create the society, but the society shapes us. the society in effect, creates our "real world".
We are just products of the historical materialistic world. meaning that we are who we are (how we act, how we think, what we believe etc) because of the time in history we stand and the position we take within the mode of production in this society.
religion is just simply an "opium of the people" (to borrow from Marx) to help ease the unforgiving pains of the unbalanced reality, which our minds, i.e. our society, creates. We created religion. but now religion claims to have created us.
Lacan says that we don't actually know who we are, so we pretend to know by imitating others and expect others to recognize and say "well done". But since not everybody is nice enough to do that for each other we create a symbolic world in which we, as a society, create an ideal, the Other, and try to imitate or achieve that ideal. examples of the Other may include "woman" "college boy" "american" "christian". it means that the collection of broken-hearted individuals (ie the society) imagines up an ideal requirements for the "ultimate woman"(such as long hair, good cook, loves shopping, enjoys artsy fartsy things rather than things like politics, etc) and the stupid broken-hearted individuals, desperately in search of some recognition or a pat-on-the-back, strive to achieve that ideal. the ideal is simply a pot of gold at the end of the rainbow. it doesn't exist, cannot be achieved. so thus the lack and the shortcomings of an individual is what makes one an individual. Lacan claims that the real "real" is nothing. simple nothingness is the "real". He was an highly educated pastor, the most outstanding student in his theology education. He killed his wife and committed suicide.
What the heck is true.... truth, reality, life, essence, joy, love, beauty.... what the hell are all those things.
my mind is just a sand castle. a hopeless defense, and a futile attempt to make it seem i've got it all together. i feel so disappointed at myself for being unable to conquer this issue. i feel so lost and hopeless because this has conquered me. my mind is actually empty inside. most of the things i do, i don't use my head, i just follow what my body tells me to do.
Thomas Gray was absolutely correct. Ignorance is bliss and little knowledge is absolutely fatal. I've got little knowledge, perhaps even none and it's killing me.
if you claim jesus is the solution, what is the answer to the challenge, "religion is just a social, historical, materialistic product. so is jesus."
it's not that you kneel because you believe in it. you believe in it because you kneel. switch "kneel" with "pray" or "go to church". you believe in it because everyone else around you is kneeling. and you are a hopeless idiot driven by your desire to be recognized and accepted.
all the moments with the holy spirit? teach me hypnotism and i'll be your holy spirit.
if christianity or islam is fundamentally the one and only truth of this world, why do you think there are so many non christians or non muslims?
imagine you are at an empty desert with no human being within couple thousand miles around you. would you still go to church at 11 am on sunday mornings? would the words you mumble, say father, love, peace, salvation, have any meaning left in them? if no one is there to be the recipient of those words, how would you know that the word father actually means father. would you still try to be nice and polite? would you not curse or use foul-language?
if you're alone in a desert with no hope to meet another human being, how in the world would you know that you are still alive? maybe you're dead. maybe the desert you're in is the life after death. maybe that's heaven... or hell?
everything you believe in is socially constructed. everything you say is defined by the society.
you are simply a product of history and society.
you are nothing. | | |
| testing.. 1... 2... 3... anyone there? - anyone else feel like saying.. "HOLD ON for a second! i mean the whole world.
EVERYTHING just STOP for a second. let me breathe,
take a good look at whats going on around me first,
then we can continue on the crazy fast time." kinda wish i had adam sandler's remote control in the movie "Click". just to use the pause button  oh and yeah its been a while since my last entry. this whole facebook thing looks more attractive but my xanga is one of those things i don't even care anymore if anyone reads it or not - kinda like a thinking on "paper" for myself heehee | | |
| "They are so shallow. All they talk about is about their looks, money, sex, and so on" ... was the phrase I heard many times while hanging out with my good friends who have visited or are from U.S. of A. I just thought "shallow" when referring to people meant not deep in their conversation topics or not thinking about deep stuff such as God or the meaning of life or the likes. I don't know if that something-like-a-definition of mine is correct but I've recently put more thought to this matter, to this word. So here it goes: Me. Born, raised, went to school, and made friends, with a small community, in a small community. By small community I mean less than a hundred people. It probably wasn't until BFA that my community border line rose above the hundred mark and went up to about 500 people (of which about 150 are staff and teachers, in BFA teacher's are our friends..sometimes lol). Naturally among such a small community, it was easy for us to find a common ground for all of us, especially since we were at a christian school. Now, compare my life with a "normal American high school kid" going to a school with 2000 kids or more. Better yet, me compared to an average college student at a university with 5000 people, usually more. Its not terribly easy, infact incredibly difficult, to find a common ground among all of the 5000 students. In such cases the common ground among people is so small, infact almost none that we use the term "shallow" to describe them. so I notice that the larger the group gets, the smaller the common ground gets and the more shallower we get. Then what about the entire human race? Hmm here's another point. What do shallow people do or what are their characteristics? They're often associated with heavy drinking, smoking, marijuana, cocaine, crazy parties, sex, the list goes on. The list is long but I'll summarize it with a word : sin <--- that right there is the lowest common ground for all humanity. Right now, I am extremely happy. Because I know that in Heaven there will be incredibly many people there and the lowest common ground for all of us will be only one thing. Our love for Jesus. Again, our only common factor as sinful beings was sin. But once we get to heaven and we are given our new bodies from Him, completely freed from all the chains of sin and evil, the only thing common we'll have, infact the only important thing we'll have is our love for Him and the joy/peace/love He put in our hearts. All we'll ever talk about is how He saved me, you and the other guy from the devil, what He did while on Earth. now that will be exciting.
I'm looking forward to heaven. | | |
| Is it time that causes change or is it changes that keep time going? Why is it that the more you're full of love, you get more love poured in and not much love given to you when you don't have much love? Does "nothing" exist or is it the existence of "something" that allows "nothing" to exist? Holy cow... Why has this world become so much more complicated since i was in kindergarten? It was so simple in kindergarten. The answer to all was "Jesus" back then.
Strange isn't it? Back then it was extremely easy. Everything was just "Jesus". But now that we've grown up and "matured", Jesus isn't the answer anymore to anything. This brings me back to a verse, "I am the Way, the Truth, and the Life" (John 14:6) I feel like I'm living my life backwards. I don't think my life's become that much harder, rather I think my focus is more blurred now. I knew the real way, truth and life. So university life is quite hard. Making friends is quite a problem.
Well... Jesus is the answer.
Academics is really hard. Its becoming too much of a burden to me.
the answer is Jesus. Actually, the question isn't really all that important. It's the fact that: Jesus is always the answer | | |
| man i hate it when people swear. i seriously do. i'm sure they can find better words to fit in place of swear words.
but what i hate EVEN MORE...
Turkish people (esp. professors) trying to use swear words with such a broken accent, that it no longer sounds like a swear word. The only way you can tell that its a swear word is by looking at the passionate look (more like face you make when you bite a cockroach) on their faces, trying to look very serious.
using swear words doesn't mean u've got more creative vocabulary. just means you don't know enough creative and rich vocab to not use swear words.
or not knowing a lot of vocab but still not swearing, is a very good option as well.
please don't swear. its like pollution in your mouth. yuck. | | |
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